Tremors in the force…

So I was reminded today about something else that JayDee kid was runnin around sayin. My buddy Greg came over and hung out with me today and told me again the story of when he met JayDee…

I guess it was at a club or somethin but he was goin on about how he lived with me for like 8 months or somethin and whatnot. And Greg was like ‘oh, I know a Shaun’ and then JayDee went on about how I work at Microsoft and blah blah blah with other details that let Greg know that indeed he was talking about the same Shaun. (I tend to right run-on sentances.) He gave some dates, and Greg who had been hangin around a lot at that time was like hmmm…

And so Greg called JayDee on his shit much like Kyle and I did (sheesh, about a year or so ago) and then he got all dumb.

Evidentally he was saying that he moved in here with me from Battle Mountain and he and I bought the house together. But Greg was at the house warming party when it was me and Thayer buying the house… so he knew that was all a lie too…”

And why am I righting all this? Aside from being a bit buzzed and it just occuring to me to list it here in the journal, it is really to deflect my own attention from the real matters of my mind right now.

And so I’ll do it some more a bit…

I think I figured out why I seem to write only about boys in this damn thing. As much as I wanted it to be some sort of philosophical, mirror into my soul kind of thing, its turned into the woes of love…

I think its because my heart is what seems to dictate my interest in writing an entry. Oh sure, I capture moments in the video log I keep, but I don’t otherwise really write about me. Unless of course my heart is feeling some tremors.

I had a bit of an awakening this past weekend. Not only was I feverish with heat exhaustion, but I also experienced some jealousy. And the jealousy has basically exposed the fact that I do have some feelings for this RussBoy. Its only been like 34 days that we’ve been seein one another. Sometimes I don’t know if I’m moving to fast or to slow in these things. I do know that I’m “just a wee bit” crazy about this boy.

He took me to my first Pow Wow on Sunday. It was neat to watch. Its kinda cool knowing that despite the distraction and disruption brought about by white settlers on this continent that some of the culture lives on 200+ years later. I’ve often wondered what society would have sprung out of native american roots had they been left to develop on their own as in other nations. Would they be united nations spanning enormous chunks of the continent as they are today in North America? Or woudl they be fractured into smaller third-world nations found in Africa?

And if they were a world power, what might their wisdom and atunement to nature bring to the international arena? Much of what they were is lost to our world. Today’s societies will likely be studied in great detail and much knowledge will be gained of our cultures. The media documentation we keep of day-to-day events stored away is almost a living history for generations to come. If only we had video cameras and computers in the days of the American Frontier to catalog and record the adventure of Lewis and Clark… what might we as a 21st century generation have learned from such simpler times?

I am a bit sad today. I can’t quite shake this feeling of dread though I am assured I have nothing to fear…

3 Replies to “Tremors in the force…”

    1. Smack Down
      Indeed. Last night’s little chat with Greg just reaffirmed to me that something has to be done. Stories are being told and while the relevant people (those that actually know me) are smart enough to know better, drama must be destroyed on site.
      I told Russell already he has to make a road trip with me to Portland. I miss you too.

      1. Re: Smack Down
        Does that mean I have to share you with Russell? hahaha
        Bring a picture of JayDee- or better, just tie him up in the trunk of the car and bring HIM… now that would be fun. I would have to watch ‘Hannibal’ again first, though.

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