my dad posed some interesting questions for me yesterday. questions for which I do not have good answers.
What does the future hold for Shaun?
What do I live for?
Why do I get up and go to work everyday?
I don’t know.
Nothing in particular.
I like my job?
I look at him and I see my future self. The stuff he conveyed to me yesterday is exactly the kinds of feelings I have in my own head from time to time. The futility of life. No real dream to work toward. Just going through the motions.
I also learned that I probably have a chemical imbalance in my head… My dad was able to determine that was his problem… why when he woudl get mad he’d rip things apart–not people–just things. Much like me. Though I usually spend too much time looking for something I’m going to be okay destroying… That typically calms me down enough to forgo the destruction…. or makes me more angry because i can’t find anything to destroy. (Its weird I even think about it before breaking it.)
Anyway. My dad is sad.