Sleep Deprived

Man am I beat. My eyes are all red and itchy. And its not allergies. Its sleep deprivation.

I managed 5 hours of sleep on Monday night and about 6 hours of sleep last night.

Thanks to work for this.

Trip to Seattle was allright. Better than I thought it would be, but still an inefficient use of my time. The guest speaker at our offsite was interesting though. Not much I didn’t already know, but he talked about Emotional Intelligence. I of course tried to relate everything I heard back to my life, both personally and professionally, and ultimately realized that I’ve already got good EI skills. Stop, Oxygenate, Seek Perspective, Seek Solution. Thats what I do already. Its hard to emotinally hijack me cause I tend to catch myself and think before I react. Not always. I still fall vicitim to the same things that plague the rest of humanity (hunger, fatigue, loneliness, and anger), but for the most part I catch myself before I get too carried away.

Too bad I can’t say the same for everyone else in my life. Everyone has the skill-set, just to varying degrees. Some are just better at reigning in the emotions that drive their negative behavior than others.

So that was that. The only thing remotely interesting about the whole trip, and not something i have to apply very hard since I already do it. Damn us empaths. Sometimes I go too far with it and suffer the reverse of emotional hijacking. Just how I am I guess.

Sadly my flight out to Seattle got delayed. It was supposed to leave at 8 something. Instead it left at 10:45. I didn’t get to my hotel room unitl 1:30 in the morning Tuesday and had to be up and in the lobby ready to leave by 7:30 the same morning. And then its a strange place so I don’t sleep well and don’t get enough sleep either.

So I was terribly tired all day yesterday. But my return flight didn’t land until about 11:00 last night. By the time I unwound enough to sleep, it was near 1 in the morning. Then up and back to work early for a meeting… which i ended up not being able to attend cause the stupid safeway gas station didn’t want to take my debit card. Took about 20 minutes to get that cleared up with the bank and fuel in my car. Thankfully I can just call in to these things so no real loss but it wasn’t a good start to my day.

I made 2000 on today’s paycheck. The entire thing is gone… to bills… damn this extra rent. If I hadn’t gotten screwed on that I’d actually have money to buy food and stuff. At least I managed to get one of my loans paid off in its entirety. That’ll be a small help come next payday as I’ll save $60 bucks in interest. Woo Hoo. Not. But at least thats $300 less I owe. Well $200. I had to go borrow a hundred to buy food for myself.

and i still owe the cable company and would like to get the pooper scooper to come back so i need to pay them.

not really sure what i’m gonna do for rent next month. i’m probably lookin at another 700 for it. how the hell am i gonna get these loans paid off?

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