Wow. Time sure flies when the marbles roll…
Its kind of amazing, kind of hard to believe, that it has been a whole year.
A whole year since Gabe and I had our first actual date. It doesn’t seem like its been that long, but it has.
I had long said that I’d know I had myself someone special if I ‘met’ them three times. You know me and my reverence for the number three (and its cube), and how I have a healthy respect for the ancient and hallowed rule of three.
We Doci have an otherworldy understanding of such things. The Ori have revealed to us the significance of the number three, particularly in how it relates to the synchronicities which we like to effect into our lives.
So for some time, whenever I would ponder "how will I know him when that special one finally comes?" I would comfort myself in knowing that the rule of three would be my sign.
Naturally when it happens, I forget all about the sign. I miss it completely. Its only been in recent weeks that it even occured to me that the sign had revealed itself.
Gabe and I met three times before having our first date a year ago today.
Three encounters, and that third one was the magick one, the one that led to our date, and a year spending nearly every single day in each other’s company. The first two he was involved with someone. By the third time he wasn’t and by what I can only call an extreme stroke of fortuitous cosmic arrangement, I was uninvolved as well. (I find it hard to remain single for any appreciable amount of time.)
That third meeting was in and of itself special, but I was out with friends and so didn’t get to spend an appreciable amount of time with him that night, just a physical acknowledgement of our mutual attraction and an exchange of phone numbers and we parted ways for the evening.
Two days later we met up at the Applebee’s by my house and have only had a small handful of days where we’ve gone without seeing one another. That was at Christmas when I was at my dad’s. There have been a few days we’ve barely seen one another. Practically all the days we’ve woken up together (or rather he’s woken up to me, and i’ve protested my disdain for the morning covering my head with a pillow to escape back to sleep).
In some ways I wonder. I think i’ve been a bit preconditioned to have some kind of intensity going on in the relationship to reveal to me my feelings. But there hasn’t been that intensity and I’m reminded of some musings of a guy about how people confuse intensity in life with love and how they’re never happy if there isn’t some high drama going on to remind them they feel what they feel.
So while I don’t have most days spent with any kind of intensity to make me realize the full depth of my emotional connection to him, I know quite well that its there, and how strong it is, and what he means to me.
I’ve had dreams where things have happened in the dreamscape that left me hurting. When I awake from those dreams I’m full of such relief that it didn’t really happen, and its in those moments I have that intensity of something to make me see in crystal clarity the depth of my feelings toward him.
Its just neat the way its grown. We dated several months before officiating ourselves as boyfriends. If the past few relationships are a guide, I would be well into living with him by now. I’m not, and while living between two houses has its own frustrations, I’m confident I’ve given our relationship some breathing room to grow on its own, naturally and organically, without any forced deepening that premature comingling of residences can bring about.
I wasn’t paying attention to the rule of three when it delivered Gabe unto me. I wasn’t paying attention when what we had grew into something truly special. I wasn’t paying attention because I was enjoying it for the moment. I was enjoying the company of a sweet and wonderful man for the sake of enjoying it, not because I was actively trying to ensnare his heart… and what am I left with? Truly the most peacful and rewarding relationships I’ve ever had.
For so long I’ve ignored some of its key principles around the timing of transitions from one chevron to the next. Yet here, when I for once am not trying to make a relationship, does one come about exactly the way my little roadmap decrees it should. Now, I guess, I’ve got some proof to share with people that the roadmap knows what its talking about.
I guess I’m well on my way to that coupled bliss it talks about, but I’m finding myself paying all my attention to the journey, not the destination. Which of course is exactly what Origin teaches us to do.
I have myself a very special someone. That much is quite obvious. I have something solid too. Something that was built upon a sturdy foundation of friendship. I think it says something that we’ve been dating for a year and never once had a single fight. There’s been disagreements, or issues if you want to call them that, to be sure. The usual stuff of two people entangled in their love for one another. Yet we’ve always discussed them in honesty and respect and that’s been our secret for getting along. Its interesting how when you do that, you find yourself far more willing to compromise than you do when you have a heated argument.
I’m starting to be of the mind that everyone else should look to us as the gold standard of what to do and not to do in love. But give us a few more years before that. :)
Although I have high hopes for our future together, I know I can’t state with any certainty its forever. I won’t know that as fact until after its come and done. All I do know is that I have a boyfriend who genuinely cares about me. Its evident in all the little things he does, like always having a cup of coffee ready for me when I finally crawl out of bed kicking and screaming at the morning…
I pray to all manner of being that I am to him, as great a boyfriend has he’s been to me.