I need that party early…

 

‘cause today isn’t a good friday…    and i want to make it one!

 

This is sort of a me being whiny entry.   Sometimes it helps to just vent to the internet.   I mean, your friends may not give a damn… but twitter is always there for you to talk to.   🙂

So I’m already kind of in a funk… just over the situation with unwanted part-time roommate.    Even the one that is full-time, whom I’m normally cool with, kind of irked me.  Its not that I mind my bro-in-law coming to live with us… I just would have appreciated it if we’d been consulted about it beforehand.    Family generally enjoys an open-door-policy.    I would just like the customary head’s up.    Then I wouldn’t feel a bit taken advantage of.   

But that is what it is.    The only lingering issue I have with it, is that it necessitates a few changes to my day-to-day living.    Nothing major, just the usual stuff that has me missing the time when I lived alone.   I know I’m not an easy person to co-habitate with.   I’m kind of rigid in how I want things.    At 33… I just figure the only person I need to be accommodating to is the person who shares the bed with me.   

And I think that’s what aggravates me the most.    No matter what I do to put myself into the life I want to have…  there is somebody else out there who just can’t get their act together… and directly or indirectly, I have to be involved in it.

So then I’m stuck in this position of wanting to help out an extended family member, in his time of need, and at the same time feeling a bit resentful about having to have extra people living in my space.

It would be better on me if it were only the brother-in-law.    Unfortunately, despite his brother having expressed in no uncertain terms that the open-door policy was for him—not his boyfriend.

Yet… his boyfriend has now spent all his off-time over the last two weeks living in my house.

So now I’m left with two additional mouths to feed, and bodies to shelter.

Again… where was the ask?   Why is it assumed in the first place that you can not only show up unannounced, but invite someone to come stay with you in your brother’s house?   Especially when you know the two people who actually live there (you know, the ones whose names are on the lease) really don’t care for this guy you keep bringing over.

I’ll have to stop there.   Too much back-story to fill you in on, and its other people’s business anyway.

 

so that’s the kind of mindset I’m already in these past few weeks…

 

then today… I start with a bit of a scare when Leia is MIA.    Seems someone forgot to close the gate (again) and consequently allowed one of my dogs to escape the safety of the yard (again).

He did this back when I lived in Sparks, and Dax spent the night with strangers… but only after getting himself trapped in their front-yard.    Poor guy was running around frantically trying to find his way back out of the gated community he was visiting.

Fortunately, Leia doesn’t wander far… though I’m not sure if she left the front yard this morning or not…    ultimately I found her after only a five-minute panic and frantic-search… right as I was reaching for my phone to call in and let work know I wouldn’t be in until I found her.

So that’s twice now that my absent-minded professor has allowed his absent-mindedness to put my puppies at risk…  

 

I don’t know how to respond to all this.  I want to be reasonable, respectful… but at the same time… i need to maintain my boundaries…    and in the almost four years we’ve been together… those handful of occasions where my boundaries were crossed and I needed to speak up… has not gone over particularly cordially.

 

I suppose I should brace for conflict…

Destruct Sequence

So yeah. My life is all stress these days.

People insisting on fucking me over month after month after month. When you get one bad roommate dealt with, the other starts up.

And while the constant lack of prompt rent payments from one person or another is probably the worst of it… there are little things that are getting to me now too

Cummulative effect

Like my soda. I get tired of buying a 12-pack and only getting to enjoy maybe two of them… all so my roommate and his friends can drink them without paying me for them (or even chipping in on a general soda fund)

And then there is the constant rearranging of my house. Stuff is never where it was the day before and everytime I need to find something out of my room… i have to go hunt it all down.

Now my garage, which was quite messy to begin with, has been half-cleaned up but that only makes it worse because now I don’t know where shit was shoved and have no idea where to begin looking for the stuff I want to find.

My poor car needs its oil changed, a new serpentine belt, and at least two new tires… none of which can be purchased because I’m constantly covering other people’s rent which is putting me more and more behind as I have to pay finance charges for payday loans and the like to get the money where I need it when I need it.

So when I have money, like I do now, earmarked for my tires and oil, I have to go and spend it on rent or the power bill that went unpaid again or whatever.

I can’t take it anymore. No wonder I spend my life sick. Stress is killing me.

2006, it would seem, is not shaping up to be any better a year for me than 2005.